THE TURNING OF ANY INTENTION INTO A GOOD INTENTION…

The Chiara de Blasio video and why I think it is important for young people to see it.

        When I received an avalanche of calls and emails of concerns and questions relating to the (as of this post still not announced) NYCDOE Chancellor’s position. One of the cautions I offered to folks was this: the New York press operates on a completely different level from that of the News media of even our largest American cities. The NYC News media is very engaged (albeit quietly) in “evaluating” the so-called list of candidates. “Bad behavior” that may receive a glancing or no attention, and maybe even be encouraged  in many cities and towns ; would serve as raw meat in a pool of sharks for the New York Press corps. Any high profile public job in NYC requires a high level of competency in order to “manage” the relationship with a very active (dailies, weeklies, broadcast and radio) and investigative press community. They will find out what you eat for breakfast; and if it is the “wrong thing”; they will then eat you alive before lunch. The NY Press corps will show no mercy to a wounded public official; particularly when the wounds are self-inflicted (see Messrs. Spitzer and Weiner); and they can and will deliver the final death blow to the most promising political career.  They also will not do free  public relations work to cover-up a clear blunder (see the attempted appointment of Cathie Black as Chancellor.) A Commissioner, Deputy Mayor or Chancellor would need to “manage well” their relationship with the NYC press. Any hint of: unpreparedness/unqualified (again see Cathie Black), incompetence, corruption, family patronage, etc.; would set off an “investigative scoop” race.

        One  good example of the “muck raking ” attitude of the NY press, is seen in the response of two NY Daily News columnist: Juan Gonzales ( http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/caveat-chiara-de-blasio-video-article-1.155796) and Mike Lupica (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/lupica-chiara-drug-abuse-reveal-played-celeb-crisis-article-1.1558422); to the video released concerning  Chiara de Blasio’s ( the daughter of the newly  elected mayor-Bill de Blasio) struggles with depression and substance abuse. It is important to note here that these two guys are actually two of the nicer liberal voices in the news media! I read both of their critical pieces and came away with the idea, that yes, maybe there was some politically strategic thought given to the timing of the event; and perhaps I am losing my NYC critical (cynical?) edge, but I have another thought. Perhaps the good that her honest and surely painful act could produce, greatly outweighs the alleged political intentions. To most Americans who don’t work as a profession with young people are unaware of how many of them suffer from isolation, confusion, disconnection, self-doubt, loneliness, abusive (yes) relationships, difficult family situations (that may look fine to the outside world). And very often they will try to “treat” their depression in ways that are not helpful, and may in fact create greater problems. After spending many years with teenagers up close, I have learned to respect their suffering; listen and seriously respond to their threats of, “running away”, “hurting myself”, and “committing suicide”. Too often we adults want to dismiss their calls for help because we think: “well they don’t have bills, a job or children; and so what could they be stressed about?” We may even think that their response to their pain is silly; i.e. “I am lonely, no one loves me, and so maybe I will have a baby, the baby will love me”.  But their pain is very rational and it feels very much like pain. Unfortunately, like many adults they don’t know how to get professional and positive help; rather than engage in self-destructive behavior that can only worsen the situation. And so I believe that if only a few young people see the video; understand that the pain they feel, others also feel, that they are not alone, and that they don’t have to suffer alone; they can get help and support in overcoming what they may think is a painfully lonely and isolated struggle. It then matters very little about the intentions of the “political handlers”. For as the “old-folks” would say: “The devil can’t see behind God’s back”; and I would add that he also can’t read God’s mind. I believe that God can use any situation no matter how painful or even “a calculated political intention”, to help many who are in a bad situation, people who are in need of attention. GOD CAN TURN ANY INTENTION INTO A GOOD INTENTION TO CAPTURE OUR ATTENTION; IN ORDER TO GIVE ATTENTION TO THOSE IN NEED OF ATTENTION.….

Share the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJKmjx1JjwI

Our Painful Memories Could Lead to True Gift-Giving

Public testimonies have never been “my thing” but recently, a friend has caused me to at least think about the power of consoling, encouraging and the uplifting of another person, through the telling of your personal story. And so this is as good as it gets:

 

Excerpt from my journal 12/25/13:

I prefer to move as quickly as possible through these holidays like: Christmas, Easter, Mother’s and Father’s Day. I have so many strong memories and thoughts about these days. I have often wondered about this “gift” of memory that has been given specifically to our species (so we believe). It is very much a gift as we can’t continue to “relearn” aspects of life over and over again. There are many things like: “fire=hot”; for which our memory is important and perhaps even lifesaving. But there is a price for memory (doesn’t anything worthwhile have a price?) which must often be paid when the objects of a good memory are no more. But, guess what; God has not left us alone with our painful memories; there is a way; counterintuitive and illogical to the thinking of this world, that we can transform a sad memory into an education about ourselves; (adversity reveals who we truly are) and a dedication to good works (in difficult times how we treat others is what we really believe); and it is those good works that will ultimately sustain and heal us. I remember my mother driving me crazy as a youngster during the Christmas season. I really thought that Pauline Johnson was channeling Santa Clause (although I did not know the word: “channeling” back then).  She kept a “gift room” and if we brought a friend to the house; and particularly if a young child would visit; she would “disappear” for a moment; and come back “miraculously” with a small fully gift-wrapped gift for the person. How did she do it? It seems that she had some type of coding system that I never understood.  It was probably organized like: “male child 7-12” or “Female child 3-6”, etc. But it was amazing, as she never failed to produce an appropriate gift for a Christmas visitor (and we always had visitors!). And then she would deliver the gift as if she knew all along the person was coming (Oh, the dramatic skill!) and she just had their gift waiting for them. The gift recipient would always be pleasantly stunned. Now this must have been a generational “Mothers of the church thing”, as I also saw Ma Walker pull this same act when one year I went by her house on Christmas to drop off her and Pop Walker’s gifts; I brought a friend along with me; who needed a ride to their grandparent’s house. Sure enough Ma Walker, like Pauline Johnson disappeared for a moment and amazingly came back with a perfectly age/ gender appropriate gift, with the person’s name on the tag!  And of course, she and my mother must have taken the same drama course as she also delivered the gift with the greatest of Christmas gift giving flair. I must confess that even I was momentarily connived that she knew I was bringing someone with me; which, of course she didn’t. Most important in these thoughtful acts of gift giving, the gifts are given with the thought that the giver will never receive a gift in return from the gift recipient.

How amazing are the thoughts and ways of God! This morning I kept saying over and over again; you must get up and move; in order to bless somebody.  The same exact words I delivered to one of my Church members last night who was having a difficult time.  The goal of just being a blessing to at least one person is enough to get us out of bed! My mind traveled back a few days ago when I thought I had finished my shopping; and then I ended up going back to the mall because (and I will explain) I had forgotten someone.  At the checkout counter I was humming: “Christmas time is here…” …as the sales clerk was ringing up the items; when suddenly she snapped and said: “I will be so glad when I don’t have to hear that song anymore”. My initial thought was to call for the store manager in order to ask if it is the stores policy for sales clerks to dismiss and discourage the feeling of a Christmas spirit on the part of customers; particularly when that “sprit” is handing the clerk a credit card! But thank God the spirit of compassion (The Michael for which I am named, pushed that other michael aside) came into me. I asked the sales clerk: “what’s really wrong young lady; it’s really not about the song, is ti?” She replied: “Well no, it’s just that I am so discouraged that so many people don’t  have the right Christmas spirit; they leave Christ out; you should see how nasty and mean they are to us when an item is sold out.” I then relayed to her the reason I was in J.C Penny. I could take the time to talk to her because despite the frantic atmosphere in the store, oddly no one was behind me in the check-out line. I told her that I was comfortable and relaxed at home, I had completed my shopping and happy not to be in the frantic 12/23/13 crowd. When suddenly I realized that I gave a present to the mother of a young lady (which the young lady delivered to her) and the son of that same young lady in my church; and did not give her a gift; and that I felt a sense “righteous guilt”; which I explained to her is translated as “convicted” in the Christian belief system. And so as inconvenient and uncomfortable as it was for me to come out again, I came here to get her something (and since the Lord sent me on a mission, and put some Dockers men’s slippers on sale at the same time; I did not want to disappoint Him. Now if I could only think of a way to wrap them and put them under the tree and surprise myself! :-) In any event; I continued with the sales clerk. I told her that I hardly know the young lady and in fact, I don’t even remember her name! And I don’t want a gift, a card or anything from her in return! She said: “What!”…”You are really doing Christmas the right way”. I responded that maybe if a few Christians do Christmas the right way (seeing that God can work His will with any number); perhaps we can change the world; even if it’s one person’s world at a time. Her entire countenance changed; as if a spirit of despair and cynicism had been lifted from her: “Thank you, so much”; she said.

  I thought; maybe there was another reason for the “forgetfulness that brought me into that store, on that day.  Forgetfulness aside, we will always be reminded of our calling in life. If we fit into the ways of this world then we are not fit to realize our calling in this world. We Christians should look awkward, out of place, ill at ease; in a world that reduces every event, every relationship, indeed every act into a commercial experience. We cannot worry about the numbers of people who are doing right; or more importantly the number of people who treat us right. During Christ-Mass; Christians-Must; look and act different; that’s our gift!

Random Thoughts on Nelson Mandela ….4: AM …12/6/13

  • Fear is a primary motivator for the actions and behavior for all of us; the fear of having, not having, not having enough, having too much, having and then losing….. The key to knowing the character of a person like Nelson Mandela; and a key to knowing our own character; is not the absence of fear in our lives; rather it is the productive management of those fears that will produce great works.

     

  • A personal loss is a path to finding your true humanity, and it is also the opportunity to discover the humanity of others; be they your jailers, tormentors or, oppressors; once you are able to isolate and recognize their behavior as a response to “fear”, you can connect with them on a human level; for you also have great fears you are trying, sometimes more or less successful, to also conquer.

     

  • Suffering, denial and separation allows you to find out who you really are; not the “who” you tell the world you are; and for some people, the “who” that emerges from this process is better than the “who” they ever imagined themselves to be.

     

  • The “work” is bigger than you, and you are so much bigger than the suffering that comes as result of the work.

     

  • Many of the people now praising and proclaiming Mandela a “hero”; once called him a “terrorist”, “troublemaker”, and a “communist”; and they were in many ways the major obstacles to ending apartheid in South Africa. He did not change his principles, he is the same man; it is they who have changed their words. Don’t stray from the path of truth and justice, and somehow a lost world will find you.

     

  • Revenge is perhaps the most useless and untrustworthy of any human emotion.

     

  • Revenge can only be nurtured by hate and fear.

     

  • Forgiveness is perhaps the most powerful and trustworthy of any human emotion.

     

  • Forgiveness can only be forged by love and appreciation.

     

  • For Mandela, 27 years in prison is a long time; for Martin and Malcolm to live to the age of 39, seems like a short time. And yet the time it takes for something good to happen, is all the time it will take. Time is not short or long; it is productive or not productive. We only “lose or waste time” when we are pursuing evil; and that is because we must make up time to correct it. And all of your good deeds are your time continuing to act, even after you have come to the end of your physical time.

     

  • I suspect that most people when thinking about the “family life” of  a Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and Malcolm X; have imaginations of what those families must have look like. And I guess there is nothing wrong with imagination; and I love literary fiction. And of course we expect their family members to present a version of “the family” life that is consistent with our imaginations. But I imagine a family life for these men that were quite different, something that does not fit nicely into our heroic parenting narratives. I imagine that there was a tremendous love and longing to just be home in a very simple family way. We rightfully claim some people as “universal figures” of history; but they have a real live personal history, and their families are part of that history.

     

  • We feel the most safe when we limit our giving and sacrifice to ourselves, close friends and immediate family. And that is because these “acts of giving” offer the greatest possibility of being appreciated and reciprocated. It is a fear that we have been taught to own. And it contradicts the very meaning of the Cross.

     

  • I wonder as I read all of the wonderful and well intentioned tributes as to what this means for the lives of the authors of these inspiring words. There is a part of me, a persistent thought that I fight against every day; and that is the belief that most people “admire” people like Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and Nelson Mandela in a very abstract and “other worldly way, (something all three men warned against); and see no responsibly or duty on their part to act, even in the smallest way, with courage. It is almost like the sacrifice of a few people somehow relives many others from meeting their own courageous destiny. We all, it would seem, are required to confront evil; to in a sense, pick up our own Cross; and it is impossible to live that experience through another, no matter how dear or an admiring figure they may be to us.

     

  • The ultimate danger in our materially decedent world is to become a reason for a day of sales. But before that happens, there is the tremendous effort to strip heroes of heir heroism; to make them less militant, less confrontational, and less objectionable. But history can be a cruel reminder when we forget the truth: The letter that Martin Luther King so eloquently penned from a Birmingham jail cell was addressed not to the chief spokespersons for segregation; but rather to his collogues in the clergy who, if they truly believed in the principles they preached, should have been with him in that jail cell. Yes, history will judge all, and reveal all.

     

     

  • With love it is possible to endure any hardship; without love the least setback will put an end to your mission.

     

  • A Black Attorney in his day, in South Africa, he had: “it made”….. But ultimately it is the ultimate choice that all professionals must face, careerism or heroism; and it must be made, over and over again.

     

  • There are those moments when you want so much to cling to comfort; but comfort is the enemy of valor and purpose; could there be: “Temptations of Christ“, if there was no temptations? And there are many temptations to soften, or “fast-track” the mission; but the brutality and the feeling of abandonment can’t be avoided. And yet,

     

  • This material world feels and sounds so good, and why shouldn’t it?

 

  • We only think of the 27 years of imprisonment in a political context. But in quiet moments when he was, as he often called himself: “A simple man”; it had to be impossible to not see the faces, recall the names, to remember the sound of the voices of family members. All of the things missed: birthdays, holiday celebrations, weddings, births, deaths, or the simple joy of seeing young family members grow up; these things can never be replaced or repeated. It was as if he lived a different family history, not inside of a prison, but inside of himself. This may sound counterintuitive; and does not appear to be true, but those who extend their love of family to a larger human family, are the most in love with their own family; with whom they may be separated; and people can’t imagine how much they suffer from that separation.

     

  • You can only be held captive by the limitations of courage and creativity in your heart and mind.
  • Regret is a weightless memory of the past, and a burden too heavy to carry into your future.
  • The calling of a human being, a primary purpose is to move from symbolic expressions of love toward, real love.

     

  • There is an urgency of rectitude one must feel in the core of their spirit to fully appreciate the power of sacrifice; and the inability to avoid it, no matter how hard you try.

     

  • And when the imagination turns to simple things that most people take for granted……

     

  • Confronting the truth that determinism and materialism are both false gods; that then leaves us with the only true task in life; to courageous create meaning in calling, we are ultimately called to mean much more than our own individual lives.

     

  • There is the “possible” reality, and then there is the inescapable possibility. It presents itself as a “choice”; but the “optional factor” is false. The truth is that you are never at ease, never comfortable; and so in that sense it is not a choice. The path of the Cross is the ultimate heroic symbol; it means that you even sacrifice your life for those who sacrifice you.

     

  • I guess that spiritual maturity is when you stop asking God to make you like: “everybody else”; and you ask Him to make you more like yourself; the self He needed you to be.