“Just one day after (Baltimore Ravens football star) Ray Rice was indicted by a grand jury in Atlantic County, N.J., for third-degree aggravated assault against Janay Palmer, the couple reportedly tied the knot.”-NY Daily News
BG is right (again), we wait in vain for the “unnatural” to emerge. What we see and (sadly in this case) feel is the truth speaking to our spirit. And so what are we waiting for, a change that will never come? These are foolish thoughts of fantasy, not acts of faith. People are more likely to be captives rather than captains of their own histories, and so how do we change history, and in particular a personal-history other than our own? Hope for the best, yes but……There is a type of “unearned” hope, that is really a form of “necro-worship”; hoping that something that is dead can give birth to something that is alive. People meet us at our “point of acceptance”; the level of disrespect and diminished capacity for which we accept as a “normal”, comfortable and emotionally compromised existence. “Could we do better?”; this whispering doubt-question is planted firmly in our confused feelings generated by low selfesteem. This is not what we boldly boast to the world; but rather how we, when alone, really feel about ourselves. For so long I have been fascinated by an earlier scientifically linked social-hypothesis I heard often, that suggested that: “opposites attract”. My skepticism (back then) was based on my incomplete understanding of how physical science concepts translate in the world of social science. But there is some sense making here. It would make sense if only for reasons of efficiency, for a “taker” to find, and “hook-up” with a “giver”; for the “cold hearted” to find the “warm-hearted”; for the simple-minded to find the wise; and in this particular case for the physical abuser to find a willing and accepting recipient of physical abuse. But all of these scenarios seem beneficially one-sided. This could suggest that the: “taker”, cold-hearted person, the simpleton and the physical abuser are correctly seeking their ideal mate and match. They would correctly and honestly state: “I see nothing wrong with this relationship”. And in a sense, they would be right, for how would it benefit a “taker” to link up with another “taker”; they would never find a moments rest as they constantly engaged in strategies, to “get-over” on each other, to make sure that they take more than they give to each other. And as strange as it may sound (after reading the biographies of people like Hitler, Stalin and Mao); I have learned that even the most “publicly cold-hearted” person wants very much to be the recipient of warm-hearted personal attention. The simpleton joined to another simpleton would find it impossible, even if you combine their two simple brains together (two simple brains together don’t follow the additive rules in mathematics); to successfully solve the difficult and complex problems they may encounter. And the “bruising abuser” definitely is not interested in someone who will go: blow for violent blow with them (the video of Ms. Palmer after she was literally knocked out by Mr. Rice was disturbingly painful to watch); they are alas, not looking for a capable opponent to meet them in the middle of the ring, they are instead looking for a victim incapable of putting up a good fight. And so, if one side of these twisted relationship equations is ok with the situation; it then falls on the one who is on the losing side of the relationship-equation to exit, in mathematical terms to create an inequality by their absence! If your weakened presence is strength to another…. Run. If your shame degradation, and dismissal is uplifting to a partner…Run. If your sadness, disappointment and discomfort is a form of uplifting comfort and happiness for another…Run. If there is a disrespect and disregard for those things that lift and strengthen your self- esteem….Run. This life is short, and believe that you have choices. You can choose life; and if you choose life, your choice should be for the primary and sustaining nurturer of life… love. Develop a “self-love”, not a “selfish love”; an ability to give and receive that which is good, inspiring, encouraging and empowering to yourself, and to another. It is not a love as it may be defined by the silly participants in some “reality TV show”; but rather it is the “real-reality”, as it is expressed and defined by God: That someone sees what is inherently wonderful and beautiful in you; and then makes every effort to bring that wonderful beauty inside of you, into full spiritual maturation and fruition…What then on earth, are you waiting for?