Fear is a primary motivator for the actions and behavior for all of us; the fear of having, not having, not having enough, having too much, having and then losing….. The key to knowing the character of a person like Nelson Mandela; and a key to knowing our own character; is not the absence of fear in our lives; rather it is the productive management of those fears that will produce great works.
A personal loss is a path to finding your true humanity, and it is also the opportunity to discover the humanity of others; be they your jailers, tormentors or, oppressors; once you are able to isolate and recognize their behavior as a response to “fear”, you can connect with them on a human level; for you also have great fears you are trying, sometimes more or less successful, to also conquer.
Suffering, denial and separation allows you to find out who you really are; not the “who” you tell the world you are; and for some people, the “who” that emerges from this process is better than the “who” they ever imagined themselves to be.
The “work” is bigger than you, and you are so much bigger than the suffering that comes as result of the work.
Many of the people now praising and proclaiming Mandela a “hero”; once called him a “terrorist”, “troublemaker”, and a “communist”; and they were in many ways the major obstacles to ending apartheid in South Africa. He did not change his principles, he is the same man; it is they who have changed their words. Don’t stray from the path of truth and justice, and somehow a lost world will find you.
Revenge is perhaps the most useless and untrustworthy of any human emotion.
Revenge can only be nurtured by hate and fear.
Forgiveness is perhaps the most powerful and trustworthy of any human emotion.
Forgiveness can only be forged by love and appreciation.
For Mandela, 27 years in prison is a long time; for Martin and Malcolm to live to the age of 39, seems like a short time. And yet the time it takes for something good to happen, is all the time it will take. Time is not short or long; it is productive or not productive. We only “lose or waste time” when we are pursuing evil; and that is because we must make up time to correct it. And all of your good deeds are your time continuing to act, even after you have come to the end of your physical time.
I suspect that most people when thinking about the “family life” of a Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and Malcolm X; have imaginations of what those families must have look like. And I guess there is nothing wrong with imagination; and I love literary fiction. And of course we expect their family members to present a version of “the family” life that is consistent with our imaginations. But I imagine a family life for these men that were quite different, something that does not fit nicely into our heroic parenting narratives. I imagine that there was a tremendous love and longing to just be home in a very simple family way. We rightfully claim some people as “universal figures” of history; but they have a real live personal history, and their families are part of that history.
We feel the most safe when we limit our giving and sacrifice to ourselves, close friends and immediate family. And that is because these “acts of giving” offer the greatest possibility of being appreciated and reciprocated. It is a fear that we have been taught to own. And it contradicts the very meaning of the Cross.
I wonder as I read all of the wonderful and well intentioned tributes as to what this means for the lives of the authors of these inspiring words. There is a part of me, a persistent thought that I fight against every day; and that is the belief that most people “admire” people like Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and Nelson Mandela in a very abstract and “other worldly way, (something all three men warned against); and see no responsibly or duty on their part to act, even in the smallest way, with courage. It is almost like the sacrifice of a few people somehow relives many others from meeting their own courageous destiny. We all, it would seem, are required to confront evil; to in a sense, pick up our own Cross; and it is impossible to live that experience through another, no matter how dear or an admiring figure they may be to us.
The ultimate danger in our materially decedent world is to become a reason for a day of sales. But before that happens, there is the tremendous effort to strip heroes of heir heroism; to make them less militant, less confrontational, and less objectionable. But history can be a cruel reminder when we forget the truth: The letter that Martin Luther King so eloquently penned from a Birmingham jail cell was addressed not to the chief spokespersons for segregation; but rather to his collogues in the clergy who, if they truly believed in the principles they preached, should have been with him in that jail cell. Yes, history will judge all, and reveal all.
With love it is possible to endure any hardship; without love the least setback will put an end to your mission.
A Black Attorney in his day, in South Africa, he had: “it made”….. But ultimately it is the ultimate choice that all professionals must face, careerism or heroism; and it must be made, over and over again.
There are those moments when you want so much to cling to comfort; but comfort is the enemy of valor and purpose; could there be: “Temptations of Christ“, if there was no temptations? And there are many temptations to soften, or “fast-track” the mission; but the brutality and the feeling of abandonment can’t be avoided. And yet,
This material world feels and sounds so good, and why shouldn’t it?
We only think of the 27 years of imprisonment in a political context. But in quiet moments when he was, as he often called himself: “A simple man”; it had to be impossible to not see the faces, recall the names, to remember the sound of the voices of family members. All of the things missed: birthdays, holiday celebrations, weddings, births, deaths, or the simple joy of seeing young family members grow up; these things can never be replaced or repeated. It was as if he lived a different family history, not inside of a prison, but inside of himself. This may sound counterintuitive; and does not appear to be true, but those who extend their love of family to a larger human family, are the most in love with their own family; with whom they may be separated; and people can’t imagine how much they suffer from that separation.
You can only be held captive by the limitations of courage and creativity in your heart and mind.
Regret is a weightless memory of the past, and a burden too heavy to carry into your future.
The calling of a human being, a primary purpose is to move from symbolic expressions of love toward, real love.
There is an urgency of rectitude one must feel in the core of their spirit to fully appreciate the power of sacrifice; and the inability to avoid it, no matter how hard you try.
And when the imagination turns to simple things that most people take for granted……
Confronting the truth that determinism and materialism are both false gods; that then leaves us with the only true task in life; to courageous create meaning in calling, we are ultimately called to mean much more than our own individual lives.
There is the “possible” reality, and then there is the inescapable possibility. It presents itself as a “choice”; but the “optional factor” is false. The truth is that you are never at ease, never comfortable; and so in that sense it is not a choice. The path of the Cross is the ultimate heroic symbol; it means that you even sacrifice your life for those who sacrifice you.
I guess that spiritual maturity is when you stop asking God to make you like: “everybody else”; and you ask Him to make you more like yourself; the self He needed you to be.
