They will only see and cheer the individual you when you betray the collective you…
If members of your own cultural community, whether justified or not, hurt your feelings—and if you serve as a principal or superintendent for even one week, your feelings are almost certain to be hurt regularly—it is simply part of the job. For instance, when students, staff members, parents, or community stakeholders begin with, “I don’t mean no disrespect…” be prepared: some form of disrespect is usually about to follow.
In those moments, immediately shift into a mindset of respectful deflection and emotional resilience. Recognize that such criticism, however poorly expressed or delivered, often emerges from a place of genuine concern, frustration, disappointment, or principled disagreement. Your responsibility as an educational leader is to maintain your composure, listen for whatever truth may be buried beneath the delivery, and respond in a way that reflects a calm, disciplined, and emotionally mature leadership temperament.
But if you feel publicly wounded by criticism from a professional organization to which you belong—even if you believe that criticism is unfair—you must resist the temptation to seek comfort, affirmation, or public validation from outsiders, particularly those who do not have your community’s best interests at heart. Instead, take a deep breath, decenter from your hurt feelings, and prioritize understanding, accountability, and resolution within your own professional and cultural community.
For instance, if the National Alliance of Black School Educators (NABSE) were, hypothetically, to give me a “thumbs-down” rating, my immediate response would be to request a private meeting with the NABSE executive board to seek explanation, clarification, and, if necessary, correction. I recognize NABSE as a respected body of knowledgeable and experienced educational leaders who care deeply about our community and the quality of education our children deserve. For that reason, I would take their concerns seriously and value the opportunity to hear their perspective.
As I did when serving as a principal and superintendent, I believe it is an educational leader’s responsibility to remain open to the possibility that our ideas, words, decisions, or actions—even when well-intentioned—may unintentionally cause harm to the students, educational staff members, families, and communities we serve. Effective school leadership therefore requires enough humility to listen, enough courage to self-correct when necessary, and enough commitment to the community to seek constructive dialogue and resolution within your own professional and cultural community before seeking validation outside of it.
