I’ll never take hugging, closeness or compassionate touching for granted again! … Part 9

Notes from In-house exile: Taking Notes on the Plagues Teachable Moments.

April 7, 2020

Aloneness is wealth, loneliness is poverty…

“The cure for loneliness is solitude”— Marianne Moore

A dear sister-friend sent this: “…Social distancing and sheltering in place…of all the people I know this is probably easiest for you…” Oh if only I had the emotional-superpowers people often attribute to me.

I think that bonafied extroverts (who rule the world in part because they are better at communicative-social-networking), get to define the world of bonafied introverts; after all, when you rule the world, that’s what you do. The truth is, ‘social-distancing’ (for which I am in complete compliance), is in fact very difficult for me. An isolation that is forced is never good or pleasant; it’s an imposition on the self, not an act of self-affirmation.

The “Extros” interpret the world in the quantity and frequency of social-contacts; The “Intros” on the other hand only seek the qualitative-deepness of a few social-contacts; they also enjoy investing time and effort into their #1 friend—themselves! But, the secret meaning of Introversion (what Extros define in their worldview as ‘fear’ or ‘pathology’), is that Intros love and care so deeply for others, that they are unwilling to waste that energy by sharing it casually with the undeserving or prematurely with the unready…

I’ll never take hugging, closeness or compassionate touching for granted again!… Part 6

Notes from In-house exile: Taking Notes on the Plagues Teachable Moments.

April 2, 2020

The confessions of an outgoing introvert…

It’s the not-so-nearness of you that works…

People inclined toward introversion really like people…just not a lot of people, and not too often. When first hearing the term: ‘Social-Distancing’ I thought: how bad could that be? It’s what I always do! But separation caused by a disease is different; for it’s a sad forced necessity for the sake of survival.

“It isn’t your sweet conversation
That brings this sensation, oh no
It’s just the nearness of you…”

Covid-19 has helped me to fully acknowledged my seniorhood, being told again and again that I meet all of the criteria of the ‘high-at-risk’ group. Many seniors were already suffering from a kind of social-distancing in the pre-plague era, and so this mandated social-distancing must be doubly painful. We are also unable to distance ourselves from our collection of memories. Everyday I am thinking and using up my ‘prayer-credits’ because so many of my former students, friends and family members are ‘first-responders’, essential civil-servants and/or directly on the front line in hospitals fighting for all of us…
Could it be that those who resist social-closeness the most, are the ones who feel that closeness the deepest and therefore don’t want to risk losing it?

I’ll never take hugging, closeness or compassionate touching for granted again! Part 2.

Notes from In-house exile: Taking Notes on the Plagues Teachable Moments.
(10) March 29, 2020

II.

When choosing is a non-choice…

“The greatest happiness in life is in knowing that others love us, for ourselves, or rather, they love us in spite of ourselves.” –Victor Hugo

Strange how the mind manages the power of choice based on the level of an existential threat. (pre-plague) Every day I wanted the right to be alone, to discourage any forms of random ‘drive-by’ visitations. The “I just happen to be in the neighborhood, and so…..”— Well, just keep on going Mr. or Mrs. Rogers, and don’t stop here! Oh the joy of dwelling in the quiet peace of reading, writing or just thinking , day dreaming, imagining; all without being distracted by a human voice.

I spent the bulk of my adult life in constant communicative service: “ Mr. Johnson I need… Can you…Will you please?” I honor and cherish a life without never-ending verbal request (principals will understand this).
My doorbell was not working for 5 years, which led my (‘can’t by nature and vocation stand broken things’) exasperated fix-it guy to frustratingly say: “Yo Mr. Johnson, let me fix that doorbell for you; I’ll even buy the parts and won’t charge you for labor!”—-Me: “Nope” . No uninvited visitors, everyone must call first!
But these Coronavirus isolation days have changed everything, meaning that I now leap to the door when the UPS guy arrives to bring my Amazon packages and boxes. And even though we both carefully practice safe social/commercial distancing; I am just happy to experience a human face and voice…

I’ll never take hugging, closeness or compassionate touching for granted again!

Notes from In-house exile: Taking Notes on the Plagues Teachable Moments.

(9) March 25, 2020

I.

A work of art and memory in progress…

This pictorial collection of social closeness I am putting together will have to do for now. The Covid-19 virus, like all rabid segregationist is cold and heartless. And so I must navigate this pandemic in mandated aloneliness, and creatively alone. Like my Yoga teacher has been trying to teach me, I can (while doing my daily Yoga practice) now listen intently and intentionally to my breathing, because it is really the only consistent human sound I now hear in my house. Most of the time I just talk and hold both sides of a conversation inside of my head, instead of out loud. Unless of course I end up, as I often do, in a room clueless as to why I am even there. I will then ask the ‘no one’ who is listening: “Now, what did I come in here to do or get?
I like to spend a lot of time alone; but I want my aloneness decision to be my choice, and not something that is imposed on me by either a macro or microorganism. Before the plague there was an option to touch or not touch, and I want that option back so that I can return to a self-determining touching existence…


With Marilyn Nance pre-quarantine days, a real Photography/Artist; I just play one on my blog.

Next: “When choosing is a non-choice…”

Notes from In-house exile: Taking Notes on the Plagues Teachable Moments.

(7) March 24, 2020

Long-term school closures will produce student winners and losers: Sadly, the U.S. Covid-19 virus pandemic will expose and expand the PreK-12 Educational Learning Opportunity Gap… http://majmuse.net/2020/03/24/notes-from-in-house-exile-sadly-the-u-s-covid-19-virus-pandemic-will-expose-and-expand-the-prek-12-educational-learning-opportunity-gap/

• There is the Story of the two Revelatory Plagues; Donald Trump and Covid-19. How someone responds to either or both, tells you everything you need to know about that person’s moral character…

• Rand Paul gets the Covid-19 Virus, is advantaged by his position in government; the hypocritical and immoral Ayn Randian (The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged,etc.) philosophy of callous selfishness…

• I guess economic privilege drives politics in a circle: If you go far enough to the right or left you end up in the same place. The ‘woke’ folks who say that Trump = Biden; but unlike most struggling Americans they have financial options and probably health insurance…

• Whiteness sure has its privileges; I can’t imagine Barack Obama getting away with this level of dangerously ignorant leadership. Initially the ACA website malfunctioned and folks (friends and foes) went crazy with criticism. And now under Trump when people are actually getting seriously ill and dying…

• The futility of hoarding. The history of plagues (for real and in science fiction) suggest that starving desperate people, will most-likely fall-back on their Limbic pre-pre-historic system instincts; which means that they are not going to allow you to stay in your home well-fed, toilet-paper rich, safe and sound while they and their children starve to death…

• The proposal to end the necessary social distancing, and let large numbers of people die in time for businesses to reap the highest Easter shopping profits; reveals the cynical and evil nature of capitalism…

• They keep talking about the “high-risk-elderly”; and I have to keep reminding myself that they are talking about me! Age is sometimes nothing but a number in your head!

• Trump’s still strong approval ratings during what is clearly incompetent leadership behavior in response to the plague; and the way he is normalized and tolerated by those white Americans, including Democrats, who claim to disagree with him; suggest to me that the rest of us need a plan “B”; and I don’t mean reparations; something closer to self-reliance…

• Thoughts on being in ‘so-low’ isolation: (1) I’ll never take hugging for granted again. (2) Thank God for 90 day medication prescriptions!